Thrilling to Lonely

Single again. It's a lot to get used to.

I just went on an unexpected date on Thursday. I had a great time! I shared and listened to stories. I laughed and smiled, probably even blushed. I was myself. Fun, bubbly, geeky, and weird. Apparently I'm worth it though, even with my quirks. Thrilling! I was on such an adrenaline high. I sounded happy. I felt happy.

But then there are also the lonely times. i haven't been completely alone for a while. I'm still living with my ex until we can work out the housing situation, but he's gone this week. It's so different being "home alone." It really does emphasize the "alone" part. Music and TV can only distract you so much.

Dreaming about the future is so much different now. I don' t have a clue what could happen, where I'll be in 5 years, or where I'll be next year for that matter. How do you plan when the unexpected pops up and your world is completely shifted? Sure, I have all the options in the world available for me to decide between. But there are so many options, where do I begin?

The single life is made up of ups and downs. Any life does. I'm just a stranger to the single life. How does it work again? The problem is that most things have stayed the same, so far. Originally I thought having my own place would be ideal. But after one day of being "completely" alone... I'm not sure any more. It's a big change.

I believe I can do it. I can handle the change. But I find I need to remind myself of this fact, so that situations are not so overwhelming.

One foot in front of the other... one step at a time... one moment to the next... Wish me luck. It could be a long road.